Monday, January 2, 2012

Chaos and Compromise

Any writer will tell you that it is important to write every day. I've kept journals and blogs before, only to taper off in the maintenance. I've often felt that if I don't have anything important to say, why expend the energy? It's a silly excuse, really. For one reason, few people are going to pay attention enough to care what I write here. And even if I had an army of followers, the act of putting words down is more for my benefit than it is for any readers. A good friend of mine reminded me that I need to be doing this everyday, like exercise. Of course, she told me this months ago, and here I am finally acting on her advice. Such are the formidable powers of my procrastination.

In brief, life is chaos; beautiful, nerve-wracking, sleepless chaos. A baby on the way in 3 months, moving in 3 weeks, intermittent work as a set dresser, scattered writing. Working with a fantastic artist on an original mini-series that we hope to find a publisher for, concocting ways to further wedge my foot into the comic book industry door, reacquainting myself with the sheer pleasure of prose. And yet, with all this whirlwind of activity, I feel paralyzed. It's like those dreams you have where you are running as fast as you can but not getting anywhere. Of course, in those dreams you are being chased by something frightening. In my reality I feel like I am chasing something and also being chased. There are things that frighten me, but also the excitement of conquering that fear, transubstantiating it into something positive.

Well, this entry has gone in a different direction than I had ever intended. I always felt that there should be a separation between personal and creative journaling. Somehow, writing introspective statements about what is going on in one's life seems like cheating. I should be making grand creative strokes that evoke images beautiful and terrifying.

Ah, fuck it. Sometimes a little compromise isn't such a bad thing. Right? Right????

By the way, this entry IS NOT intended to coincide with some bullshit New Year's resolution...

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